Last week my son turned 7. Two weeks before, Charm & Magic turned 7 as well.
Seven is a potent number, one that represents the completion of a cycle.
Charm & Magic was born out of desire and on a complete whim.
The spark that ignited it all was a Christmas present my husband gave me in 2013. A session with Rachelle of The Neshama Project. I admired the life she led as yoga teacher with a jewelry line. At the time I was an aspiring yoga teacher, emerging health coach, and a dance educator in NYC yearning to create again.
Listening to my desires, she prompted me : Just do it! So I did. She gave me permission. I didn’t have a business plan or a business background, just a deep desire to create.
I began making mini malas, necklaces made with 108 smaller beads so they hung like a normal necklace. I was too intimidated to create actual malas, with many companies already doing this… so I created something small. I was thrilled when I made my first few sales, to mostly friends, and some strangers (!), my biggest customer was my aunt.
Then 14 days later my first child was born and I became a mother. Which was obviously a steep learning curve. I took the sage advice and slept when the baby slept, but sometimes when he was sleeping on me in a carrier I would make a necklace at our table.
When my husband’s two week paternity leave came to a close, I made us all walk to another neighborhood in Brooklyn to visit a bead shop. I insisted on having a lesson, while Aaron sat with sleeping Luca in a restaurant, and I gathered materials to sustain me while I was alone with the baby for the first time. Looking back at this now, it seems absurd, but at the time, there didn’t seem to be any other option than doing just that.
I would create whenever I could fit it in. We moved to Germany for 6 months, and then back to our little apartment in Brooklyn, then to Lancaster, PA where Anna would be born, and then a few years later, Elliot. Motherhood would continue to be my biggest challenge, joy, teacher, and would routinely swallowed me whole.
I started making actual malas, then bracelets, then earrings, and then necklaces. I learned about gems, I found places to source my materials, I created a studio in our house. I found such solace, joy, and peace while I was making. I made custom malas, I made custom malas for yoga studios, I taught mala making workshops, I brought my things to craft fairs, yoga fairs, and Vegan fairs. I slowly developed partnerships and relationships.
Each year I always spent a few $100 more than whatever I made.
It really was a glorified hobby, but I was giving it the weight and importance and expectation of a thriving business. I used its perceived failure to generate income, as reinforcement that I was not successful, good, or worthy. What started out as a pleasurable pursuit silently ate away at my perspective of myself, my ability to achieve, my claim to worthiness.
Thankfully, I truly get it now. And I am sure there is more that I will continue to learn (obviously), but this seems to be a big lesson. I understand that my performance in this external venture does not signify my worth, my power, my brilliance, my ability to shine. I am all those things. I do not need to prove I am a multidimensional, creative, thoughtful being capable of success. I do not have to prove I am more than a mother. Of course I am more than a mother. We are all more than the thing we identify with the most. With this huge insight, I realize the chase will not get me there, instead I get to cultivate the feeling of full acceptance within.
I’m glad I was young and starry eyed and just dove in. I appreciate that about myself. I am very good at just leaping, especially when I seem to have no business doing so. Perhaps if I knew all it would take, all the mistakes that would be made, perhaps I wouldn’t have dared to be so bold.
The quote I included in every order in the beginning was :
“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” -Geothe
And so just like we continue to evolve. Charm & Magic continues to do the same.
I am working towards creating a clear container for my work. While honoring creativity, inviting play, and celebrating beauty. Thank you for being a part of this journey. I so appreciate you!
More to come,
Leah